Stephanie Kakris

7 Signs Your Child May Be on a Path to Screen Time Addiction

In today’s digitally connected world, screen time has become an integral part of children’s lives. While technology offers numerous benefits, excessive screen time can lead to detrimental effects on children’s well-being, including the risk of screen time addiction. 

Identifying early warning signs is crucial to mitigate the potential risks. If you’re worried about the impact of screens on your child, trust your intuition and take some positive steps to set some healthier boundaries and limits, such as installing ScreenCoach. 

These 7 tips will help confirm your suspicions – if your child is showing signs of even one or two of these, it’s time to act.

Here are seven signs to watch out for:

1. Excessive Preoccupation

If your child is constantly preoccupied with screens, expressing a heightened eagerness or obsession to engage with digital devices, it could be a sign of dependency. Persistent thoughts or discussions solely focused on screen time may indicate an increasing attachment to digital media.

2. Withdrawal Symptoms

When separated from screens, does your child display signs of irritability, mood swings, or agitation? Perhaps they have a complete meltdown when you try and set screen time limits and it’s impacting your relationship. Exhibiting withdrawal symptoms when denied access to screens could suggest an emotional dependency on digital devices.

3. Disrupted Sleep Patterns

Excessive screen time, especially close to bedtime, can disrupt sleep patterns. If your child experiences difficulties falling asleep or exhibits irregular sleep schedules due to late-night screen use, it might indicate an unhealthy relationship with screens.

4. Neglect of Other Activities

Is your child neglecting other hobbies, activities, or social interactions in favour of screens? A diminishing interest in physical activities, outdoor play, or hobbies that were previously enjoyed might signal an overemphasis on screen-based entertainment.

5. Inability to Self-Regulate

Difficulty in self-regulating screen time or an inability to adhere to predetermined limits may indicate a lack of control over screen use. Continuous attempts to extend screen time despite set boundaries might point toward dependency issues. Lying or sneaking devices when they shouldn’t be is a concerning sign.

6. Impact on Academic Performance

A decline in academic performance or a noticeable change in focus and attention span at school could be linked to excessive screen time. Diminished concentration, lack of interest in studies or getting in trouble at school might be an indication of the negative impact of prolonged screen exposure.

7. Social Withdrawal

Has your child exhibited a decline in social interactions or expressed disinterest in spending time with friends and family? Excessive screen time might lead to social withdrawal, impacting real-life social connections and relationships.

Addressing Screen Time Dependency

Recognising these signs early on is a critical first step in addressing screen time addiction. Engaging in open conversations, taking an interest in what they’re doing on their devices and what they love about it, talking about the potential consequences of excessive screen use, setting clear boundaries, and fostering a balanced tech-life approach are vital steps. (Check out our article on the 5 E’s of ScreenCoaching)

Encouraging diverse activities, promoting offline hobbies, and leading by example in managing one’s screen time can significantly contribute to healthier habits. See some hints and tips here. 

As parents, guardians, or educators, being vigilant and proactive in monitoring and guiding children’s screen time habits is essential. Striking a balance between the benefits of technology and the need for healthy offline activities is key to promoting a well-rounded upbringing. This is exactly what ScreenCoach is designed to help you with. The earlier you can introduce ScreenCoach to support your parenting efforts with managing screen time, the better.

If you are considering a complete screen detox for a while to help reset your child, please see the recommendations here.

IMPORTANT: If you feel your child is already addicted to screens, suffering from anxiety, social withdrawal or you have any other mental health concerns, we strongly encourage you to seek professional support from a suitably qualified psychologist or counsellor.

By recognising these signs and taking proactive measures, parents can help steer their children toward a healthier relationship with screens, fostering a balanced and harmonious lifestyle.

It’s not too late – Check out our testimonials page, and see the amazing results families are seeing with ScreenCoach!

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The Hidden Cause of Excessive Screen Time – It’s Not What You Think

In today’s digital age, it’s no secret that children are spending more time in front of screens than ever before. While the reasons for this trend are often attributed to the allure of technology in this modern world, there’s a hidden, seldom-discussed factor that’s significantly contributing to the screen time epidemic: the struggles of modern parenthood. I have personally experienced challenging times being a Mum due to all these things listed below. People are quick to blame “lazy parents” – but my experience is that parents are far from lazy – in fact, they are much more likely to be overburdened and devices become a necessary evil. But at what cost?

1. The Overwhelm of Dual-Income Households

In the past, the stereotypical family structure involved a working father and a stay-at-home mother. However, societal changes have shifted this paradigm. Both parents are now commonly expected to work to make ends meet, and in many cases, even that isn’t enough. As the cost of living continues to rise, parents find themselves caught in a relentless cycle of work and financial stress.

This constant juggling of work, household responsibilities, and childcare can lead to parental burnout. The pressure to provide financially often overshadows the emotional and mental well-being of parents. In such an environment, it becomes easier to allow children to occupy themselves with screens which provide respite for parents who are struggling to cope with the demands of modern life.

2. The Isolated Western World Lifestyle

In many Western societies, the traditional notion of a “village” raising a child has all but disappeared. Families often live far away from extended relatives, and many parents lack the close-knit community support that was once common. This isolation can make parenting a lonely and daunting experience.

With the absence of a support network, parents may feel overwhelmed and alone in their responsibilities. It’s often easier to turn to screens to keep children occupied than to engage in time-consuming and emotionally draining activities with limited adult interaction. This lack of communal support makes screens an attractive solution to fill the void of social interaction for both children and parents.

3. The Fear of Allowing Kids to Roam Free

A prevailing concern in today’s society is the fear of allowing children to explore and take risks independently. There’s a growing aversion to kids playing outside, climbing trees, or riding bikes on their own, as parents worry about physical dangers and potential accidents. In an attempt to keep children safe, parents often opt for the lesser-known perceived danger – screen time.

The fear of physical harm has shifted to a new type of risk: the developmental and physical issues associated with excessive screen use. While screen time might protect children from immediate physical harm, it can harm their long-term physical health, mental well-being, and social development. This trade-off, made out of a desire to protect, may lead to unforeseen consequences.

4. Parents Having Kids Later in Life

One aspect contributing to excessive screen time is the trend of parents having children later in life. Parents who start their families at an older age may have a harder time relating to the needs and activities of their children. They might have forgotten the simple joys of childhood and the importance of active play.

This generation gap in understanding can lead to a greater willingness to allow children to use screens for entertainment, as parents may be less inclined to engage in physical activities with their kids. Recognizing this generational divide is crucial for encouraging parents to reconnect with the world of their children.

5. Smaller Family Sizes and Playmate Shortages

Another factor influencing screen time is the trend of smaller family sizes. With fewer siblings to play with at home, children may turn to screens as a solitary source of entertainment. The absence of playmates in the immediate household can make digital devices even more appealing.

To address this issue, it’s important for parents to actively seek out and encourage social interactions and activities that involve peers, such as playdates and group outings. These opportunities can help mitigate the reliance on screens for entertainment.

ScreenCoach: A Solution for Modern Parents

In conclusion, the hidden reasons behind excessive screen time for children are complex and deeply intertwined with the challenges of modern parenting. To combat this issue effectively, we must address the root causes – the overwhelming demands of dual-income households, the isolation of Western lifestyles, the fear of letting children roam free, the generation gap, and the shortage of playmates. However, solving these systemic issues is not simple and is going to happen overnight. 

In the meantime, while recognizing these issues is a crucial first step, practical solutions are essential.

ScreenCoach is an innovative solution that has been designed to support busy parents in managing their children’s screen time.

ScreenCoach is a screen time management app that offers a task and reward system, creating a structured approach to help parents strike a balance in their kids’ use of digital devices. This platform goes a step further by incorporating a pocket money/allowance management system, making it an all-encompassing tool for modern parents.

With ScreenCoach, parents can set tasks for their children and reward them for non-screen-related activities. This system encourages kids to engage in alternative activities, fostering a healthier balance in their lives.

The app’s versatility extends to mobile devices and computers, giving parents control over various digital devices. Additionally, an optional hardware solution allows parents to manage screen time on streaming television services and game consoles.

Furthermore, ScreenCoach offers a flexible subscription model, with a nominal rate for the first month to let parents assess the platform’s effectiveness. This ensures that parents have the tools they need to manage screen time effectively without breaking the bank.

Incorporating innovative solutions like ScreenCoach into the daily routine of modern families can help parents address the challenges of balancing technology and other activities in their children’s lives. By doing so, we can work toward reducing our dependence on screens and promoting a healthier, more balanced approach to parenting in the digital age. As we navigate the complexities of modern parenthood, solutions like ScreenCoach offer a beacon of hope, guiding us toward a more balanced and connected future for both parents and their children.

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Screen Coaching our kids needs to start at a young age and it’s vital for their development and screen time behavior that they learn the 5 E’s – Education, Empowerment, Empathy, Emotional Intelligence and Enjoyment.

Screen Coaching is a way to educate and empower our kids and young people to healthily manage their screen time. The goal is for them to learn how to balance their own screen time with other activities such as physical activity, helping out around the home, family and social time, homework, and non-screen fun! We have created the 5 E’s of Screen Coaching – Education, Empowerment, Empathy, Emotional Intelligence and Enjoyment.

You are probably most familiar with the term “coaching” from the sporting context. Sports coaches show athletes how to improve their skills, fitness, and technique. They offer guidelines, programs, and strategies for the athletes to follow. When the time comes for the athlete to perform, the coach does not perform for them – they sit back and watch, and it is the athlete who has the responsibility for his or her own performance on the day.

As a parent, it is not our role to control our kids. In fact, there is data to show that kids who are told what to do by their parents (“my house, my rules”) are the ones who rebel as they get older.

Yes, boundaries and rules are important and necessary, however, it is our role to offer them education and options as they grow – to teach them how to self-parent – so that when you’re not around they can look after themselves – just as the sporting coaches don’t take to the field themselves.

There are five key E’s to effectively Screen Coaching for your kids.

1) Education

Teach your kids about the importance of balancing screen time with other activities for optimal mental and physical health – being happy and healthy.

In order to have a great life, there are certain developmental things that we need to have in childhood.

• Unstructured imaginary play helps our creative and social brains develop optimally for future learning capacity.
• Physical developmental play – climbing, running, jumping, playing with balls, and generally using our bodies. This helps so many areas of our brain development, and also includes healthy eyesight.
• Good nutrition, exercise, and getting enough sleep are also critical for our wellbeing at any age. Good quality sleep is impacted by too much screen time, and kids should stop using any device at least an hour before sleep.

It is also useful to explain to your kids that screen time releases a chemical in your brain – called Dopamine – which makes them feel really excited and want more and more. Gaming and entertainment companies spend millions of dollars on professionals to advise them exactly the right amount of dopamine “hits” to offer to make the games maximally engaging – even addictive.

2) Empowerment

If you don’t already have set routines or rules around screen time, these are a really good idea. Perhaps you’ve done this in the past, but it’s been forgotten and needs to be revisited.

Ask your kids for suggestions and input into their own screen time. Research suggests kids are far more likely to co-operate and stick with rules they have helped create.

Ask your child how long they will be on screens before they have a break. Encourage them to set a timer to remind them to have a break. Sit down with them and write up a schedule – perhaps 1 hour of screens and 2 hours doing other things, then another hour of screen time. They may prefer to use all their time in one go and then do other things for the rest of the day. Collaboration results in co-operation!

The beauty of ScreenCoach is that it can be completely customised for each individual child who can manage their screen time as it suits them.

3) Empathy

Spend some time with your kids while they are playing with their devices. Kids are much more likely to listen to your guidance if they know you understand what they love about screen time. Empathise with them about how difficult it is to get off and transition to something else that seems so dull and boring in comparison. Share with them how you find it difficult to moderate your own screen time too at times if that is the case.

“I know it’s really fun and all your friends are playing, but it’s also really important for you to do other things.” 

You can also help them to develop empathy for you as a parent, by sharing how difficult it is for you to be constantly nagging and telling them to finish up. “I don’t like it when there’s all this tension between us – how can we find a way that is easier for us both?”

4) Emotional Intelligence

Emotional awareness is critical in helping kids self-manage their screen time as they get older. Particularly when playing intense games, kids can become over-emotional, and tantrums and meltdowns can be extreme in some cases. The ideal scenario is for a child to be aware of what causes these outbursts and to prevent them.

If your child has a meltdown, comfort them and allow them the time and space to calm down.
Never try and reason or talk to your child when they are very upset. Later on, after they have calmed down, ask them what that was like for them. Chances are that they didn’t like it! Ask them what they think caused it and how we can prevent it from happening in the future. Perhaps they need to stop playing that particular game and find other games to play that are less intense. Perhaps they only play that game for a short time and then stop.

A similar process can be used for a child who is extra tired and irritable after not getting enough sleep or from spending too much time watching YouTube or whatever. Ask them how they are feeling and if they would prefer to feel happier and brighter – and what could they do differently next time. Our goal is to support kids to learn about their own screen tolerance and to understand how the use of devices impacts the way they are feeling.

5) Enjoyment

Ultimately, kids (and adults!) love the enjoyment that screen time offers. It’s great to discuss with your kids exactly what they love about different aspects of screen time: the social aspects of playing and chatting with friends online; the challenging aspects of certain games; the fun of being creative and mastering new gaming skills; learning offline skills via educational content.

When devices are over-used and there is no balance, screentime becomes less enjoyable and there is more likelihood of poor mental and physical health, reduced educational outcomes and general feelings of irritation and malaise – which is no fun!

We want to encourage and maximise all the fun, joy, and benefits that come with device use when combined with a healthy balance of other activities.

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If you’re the parent of a teenager (or even a pre-teen or “tween”), you probably don’t find it super easy to talk to your child. All you want is to engage with them and to learn more about them as they grow. But with all the hormones wreaking havoc in their minds and bodies, often it’s an accomplishment to get little more than a grunt out of them – or a full-blown lash-out – isn’t it?

Why are teens so hard to talk to?

Much like a toddler, a teenager wants to explore their independence. They want to try new things and make their own decisions. Also like a toddler, a teenager doesn’t really know how to regulate their emotions. Any question that feels like even a minor invasion of privacy may result in a response from your teen or tween that suggests they feel interrogated.

Renowned author Gretchen Ruben is quoted as saying ‘Sometimes kids need us to be the coach, offering advice on what to do and how to proceed. But other times? Our kids are making their own decisions and choices, and what they need is for us to be their cheerleaders on the sidelines, wishing them well and preparing to offer comfort and support should things go pear-shaped.’ It’s an important distinction for us to make, as parents – to know the right time to ask which sort of question. For tweens in particular, says Dr. Laura Markham of Aha! Parenting, ‘the biggest danger…is trying to parent through power instead of through relationship, thus eroding their bond and losing their influence on their child as she moves into the teen years.’ So, it’s a delicate balance that involves trust and patience.

Of course, screens are in the mix, adding their own challenges. Kids are glued to their screens quite often these days – whether for educational or recreational purposes – and this adds an additional layer parents have the reach through to connect with their children.

Questions that open conversations

In an article for the Fuller Youth Institute, clinical psychologist Dr. Susan Oh Cha reflects on her interactions with her teenage daughter. She poses an interesting question: ‘What percentage of our family’s conversations is about getting to know each other more?’ What if – instead of seeking to draw out information – you asked questions that gave your children a chance to volunteer information by feeling empowered and heard?

Beyond Blue suggests a number of practical tips for engaging in effective communication with your children, such as making sure you listen without judgment, asking questions designed to make your kids feel safe and not like you’re trying to extract details out of them, showing affection and support, and respecting their privacy.

Going one step further, we’d like to share our top ten prompts for starting fluid and fruitful conversations at the family dinner table:

1. What was your favourite part of today?
2. If you had to choose a favourite word, which one would it be and why?
3. If you could travel to one place anywhere in the world, where would you go?
4. What is your favourite thing we do as a family?
5. What new skill would you like to learn and why?
6. If you could go back in time to speak with just one person, who would it be and why?
7. What three words best describe your day?
8. What are your favourite and least favourite features?
9. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and what kind of house would you have?
10. What do you like most about the other members of our family?

As you can see, this mix of questions allows family members to use their imaginations to dream up their ideal homes and travel locations, as well as provide insights into insecurities and fears that may need addressing. Remember to listen without judging the response, and be ready with support and a hug, if needed!

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